MarySue Comes to Hogwarts
by Rinnington
Summary: What happens when the most beautiful, intelligent, and talented American Exchange student turns out to be Harry's long lost twin? He wants her dead, of course.
1. Enter Destinee

Mary-Sue Comes to Hogwarts  
  
Chapter 1~ New Arrival  
  
Every year, Harry Potter looked forward to returning to Hogwarts, seeing his friends, playing Quidditch, and the beginning of the year feast in the Great Hall. This was the first time that he had not spent his summer in anticipation of the school year. The Dursleys had been better than usual with the Order's threats hanging over their heads, but most of all Harry wasn't sure he wanted to be around the wizarding world. It was easier not to think about Sirius when constant reminders didn't surround him. And although Ron and Hermione were careful not to mention his late godfather, he could tell by Hermione's pitying glances and Ron's discomfort that he was on their minds as well.  
  
Harry sighed and sunk into his seat at Gryffindor table. He looked around- the tables were full of students, but less full than they had been last year. Voldemort had indeed returned. And although he usually was consoled by Dumbledore's appearance, he had somehow lost faith in the magical ability of the headmaster to "fix everything." He watched with feigned interest during the sorting.  
  
But glancing up at the Great Hall table, Harry gasped when he saw a familiar, if drawn face. Professor Lupin caught his eyes and waved, and Harry waved back slowly.  
  
"Look," whispered Hermione. "Lupin's back!"  
  
And at that moment, Dumbledore stood up and began to give his opening speech.  
  
"Students of Hogwarts, I welcome you back for another year. This year is more solemn than our previous years have been- Voldemort-" a shudder ran across the room as almost every student flinched- "is back among us, and many of our fellows are no longer here. But the school year shall proceed as normal, and I hope that every student will put aside his or her differences to unite against the peril that surrounds us. On a lighter note, Professor Umbridge will no longer be among us-" a cheer rang through the Great Hall, only Argus Filch and a number of Slytherins did not join in. Even Professor McGonagall let out a loud whoop. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "-and in her place as Defense teacher will be Professor Lupin."  
  
This time, the cheer was quiet and came almost solely from Gryffindor. Many students looked pale with shock, and Malfoy crossed his arms and muttered something to the effect of "My father will never allow this. ." Harry laughed dryly, knowing Lucius Malfoy had recently broken out of Azkaban and was on the run from the Ministry, so would have no say in the matter. Dumbledore resumed his speech.  
  
"I also have the pleasure to announce that among our new students this year will be a new exchange student from America. I know we've never had an exchange student before, but this year we decided what the heck? Why not? Unfortunately, she doesn't seem to be here-"  
  
Suddenly, the doors to the great hall slammed open, and everyone in the Great Hall gasped. It was the most beautiful girl anyone had ever seen. She had skin of sun-kissed ivory, eyes of passionate jade, and hair of shimmering raven. The Hall was filled with her scent of fragrant night- blossom, her robes were of the finest hazy-winter sky colored silk, and in her long, slender ivory fingertips was a broom of shimmering silver.  
  
"Oh, hello, everyone," she said in a voice like a thousand nightingales. Dumbledore smiled warmly, and said, "May I present our new American exchange student, Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford?" Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford smiled humbly and bowed. Everyone continued staring, awestruck by her beauty reminiscent of a warm spring day. Finally, the silence was broken by someone who said, "Cool broom!"  
  
"Why thank you!" said Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford. "It's the new Silverbolt 3000, the fastest broom in the world. I designed it when all of the players on the Silver Arrows came down with a case of the measles. I also nursed them back to health." She laughed, and her laugh sounded like a thousand tinkling silver bells. "Anyways, sorry I'm late. I had to stop on my way to save Sirius from his untimely death."  
  
Sirius stepped into the Great Hall and waved. "Yo." He was currently topless except for a dog collar, but was wearing tight boy-band leather pants and a mischievous smirk. A bunch of people screamed. "It's Sirius Black!"  
  
Mary laughed her laugh like flowing caramel again. "Oh, don't worry, I also discovered proof of his innocence, and showed it too Cornelius. We go way back, and he owed me a favor from that time I saved him from a rampaging manticore."  
  
Everyone sighed in relief. Dumbledore beamed. "Well done, Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford. Seeing as Sirius is here, why don't we make him Transfiguration Teacher?"  
  
"Score," said Sirius with his perpetual bad-boy smirk. He dashed up to the head table and sat next to Remus, bumping Snape out of the way onto the floor. McGonagall opened her mouth to protest.  
  
"Don't worry, Minerva," said Dumbledore. "You're still head of Gryffindor, and you can be Potions master now. Snape, how about you be. . .um. . .Filch's assistant!"  
  
"What!" demanded Snape angrily.  
  
"Sorry, Severus," said Dumbledore, "but we do need to make room for Sirius for plot purposes. Run along now!"  
  
Everyone waved merrily as Snape stormed out of the hall.  
  
"So, Sirius," said Dumbledore, "since we no longer have a Slytherin Head of House, can you take over despite your horrible bias against them?"  
  
"No problem!" said Sirius with a wickeder grin than usual.  
  
"Now, let's sort our new exchange student, shall we?" Said Dumbledore brightly. Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford trounced up happily to the Sorting hat with a grace befitting a swan. She pulled the hat over her curls of abundant obsidian. She wasn't there for long, when the hat suddenly shrieked.  
  
"I've never seen anything like it! She has qualities that surpass those of all four founders! Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford, it is beyond my skill to sort you. How about you just join every house and choose from day to day."  
  
"Okay," said Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford with her voice of bubbling glacial waters. Then, with her lioness-like grace, she trounced over to the Gryffindor table and sat down in between Harry and Ron, shoving Hermione out of the way. Instantly, Harry and Ron got into a fistfight over who was allowed the pass her the sweet potatoes.  
  
"You can't pass her the delicious potatoes, Harry! Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford is my one true love!"  
  
"No, Ron, you bloody git! She's my one true love! I'll kill you!"  
  
Both took out their wands and begin fighting madly. Suddenly, they froze. Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford had performed the Impedimenta Curse without even taking out her burnished chestnut veela hair wand.  
  
"Boys," she said in her voice of wavering moonbeams, "how can I be your true love if you don't even know anything about me?"  
  
Harry and Ron sat up eagerly, hard to do under the Impedimenta Curse. "Tell us! Tell us!"  
  
"Um, okay," said Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford as softly as a newborn kitten. "Well, I was raised in a cottage in the woods by Skippy and Sparky de Smytheford, my adoptive house-elf parents. All my life I thought I was merely an over-grown and freakishly beautiful house-elf with paranormal powers. And then, one fine day, the gamekeeper from Saffire- Sparkle School for Wizardry, Gridhag, told me the truth. I am a witch, and I am not truly Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford, but Lily Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford Potter."  
  
"You mean. . ." whispered Harry.  
  
"Yes," reaffirmed Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford.  
  
"Mum!" shouted Harry joyously.  
  
"No, Harry," said Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford patiently. "I'm your sister. Your long lost twin sister Lily Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford Potter."  
  
~*~*~16 Years Earlier~*~*~  
  
The nurse approached the red-haired woman lying on the bed, and her husband beside her. She smiled gently, clutching two infants in her arms. One was a little boy with a shock of messy black hair, bright green eyes, and thick- rimmed glasses. The other was a glowing child possessing sun-kissed ivory skin, curls of luxurious midnight, and eyes of changeable evergreen.  
  
"Congratulations, Lily and James Potter." said the nurse. "Twins!"  
  
"Oh," said Lily. "What shall we name them?"  
  
James thought hard.  
  
"How about. . .Harry and Lily Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford Potter?"  
  
Lily nodded her agreement.  
  
~*~*~16 Years Later~*~*~  
  
"So, anyways," continued Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford, shaking her head of rippling ebony, "it was decided at birth that we had to be separated because I was destined to bring about Voldemort's downfall."  
  
"B-but. . .I thought that was me!" Harry said, confused. Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford laughed her laugh of boundless sunlight. "Sorry, Harry. . .that one's up to me."  
  
Ron looked triumphant. "Well, Harry, you can't date your own sister, so looks like Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford is all mine!"  
  
Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford shook her head of shimmering licorice. "Sorry, Ron, but I'm already dating Sirius."  
  
Ron glanced up at the staff table, where the bare-chested leather-pantsed Sirius was laughing and chatting with McGonagall. He caught Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford's bottomless viridian eyes and winked.  
  
"Damn him!" shouted Ron, and then he ran from the Great Hall sobbing. 


	2. Classes with Destinee

Chapter 2 ~*~*~ Classes with Destinee  
  
The next day, everyone went off to his or her respective classes. Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford was still in Gryffindor- she had slept that night in a private dorm furnished for her by Dobby the house elf, who had decided he liked her better than Harry.  
  
The first class of the day was Potions, newly taught by Professor McGonagall. Harry had to admit this was quite an improvement. He had come to like the rather stern head of Gryffindor house last year when dealing with Umbridge, so although she was a tough teacher, he could get along with her. And almost anybody was better than Snape.  
  
"Good Morning, class," said the teacher, wearing robes like an American flag in honor of Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford's arrival. "Take out your cauldrons. I've never taught Potions before and I didn't even do very well on my Potions O.W.L.s, but the Headmaster knows what he's doing."  
  
Harry, Ron, and Hermione took out their pewter cauldrons. I suppose they were carrying them in their robes pockets. Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford took out her diamond cauldron encrusted with rubies and emeralds.  
  
"Is this okay?" she asked in her voice like the whinny of a unicorn. "It was the required cauldron at Saffire-Sparkle."  
  
Professor McGonagall nodded her approval at Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford's appropriately beautiful cauldron. "Er, alright, class, let's begin. How about that one potion that um. . .well, what's that potion we're working on, you know, with the aconite, asphodel root, and knotgrass. . ."  
  
Hermione raised her hand. "Excuse me, Professor? I believe you are referring to the Aging Potion, as it was discovered by Newton Senectus while he was in Scotland, where knotgrass and asphodel root are both most common."  
  
"Oh, right. . ." said Professor McGonagall.  
  
"Uh, Professor?" said Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford in a voice as soft as Japanese silk "While knotgrass and asphodel root are both key ingredients in the Aging Potion, which incidentally was discovered by Newton's brother Aaron in Wales, not Scotland, the Aging Potion lacks aconite, also known as wolfsbane and monkshood. I believe Hermione was thinking of the Hypnosian Potion, which supposedly aids in the development of the Sight."  
  
"Oh!" said Professor McGonagall. "You're right!" Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford smiled modestly, a pale pink blush coming to her cheeks of midnight-framed ivory. Hermione scowled.  
  
"What a bitch," she muttered under her breath. "Pardon?" asked Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford sweetly.  
  
Ron patted her on the shoulder. "She said you're an awesome witch." Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford beamed brightly. Hermione sunk lower in her chair.  
  
The class continued to work on the Hypnosian Potion, Hermione seeming so flustered that she accidentally added the asphodel root before the cauldron had come to a boil. Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford laughed sweetly. "Evanesco," she said, waving her wand. "Sorry, 'Mione, but it was ruined. I'll help tutor you if you like."  
  
Hermione blinked. 'Mione? She was very glad when the bell rang and the students were dismissed. Gryffindor filed out into the hall.  
  
"Ooh, that was fun!" chimed Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford in her voice like s clear sunset. "What's next?"  
  
Harry glanced at his schedule. "We have Divination next. Oh no! They've re- instated Professor Trelawney as the Divination teacher!"  
  
Hermione grinned. "Thank god for Arithmancy," she said merrily, skipping off to get away from Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford. Harry and Ron shrugged, and turned back to the exchange student. "Well, come on. Divination is in the North Tower. Long walk."  
  
Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford grinned. "No need. We can Apparate!" Oh, wait, you can't apparate here until you're 17, huh? Oh, well, I'll just apparate both of you."  
  
Ron looked confused. "But you can't apparate in Hogwarts and-"  
  
Suddenly, the trio was standing in the divination room. The smell of musty perfume was overpowered by Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford's compelling scent of summersweet magnolia. Professor Trelawney looked startled as soon as the three of them appeared.  
  
"N-never," she said, obviously shaken, "Never have I perceived a stronger aura of the Sight than on you, er, what's your name? You weren't here last year, no?"  
  
Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford shook her head of glossy marble. "No, Professor. I'm new this year. My name is Lily Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford Potter. My teacher at Saffire-Sparkle told you about me?"  
  
"Oh!" said Professor Trelawney suddenly. "Erm, I mean, yes. I knew all of this, but I was merely testing you. Your professor told me you were already an amazing seer and need no further instruction." Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford nodded, bouncing her curls of glimmering slate. Professor Trelawney smiled blissfully. "You just run along then, dear. Tell me if you wish to borrow my orb some time." Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford ran off with falcon-like agility. "Now, class!" Trelawney said suddenly to the other students. "I expect you all attempt to reach Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford's level of accomplishment. Therefore, we will work extra hard. Everyone will construct charts of the positions of the nine planets on every influencial day in the last twenty years. You may not go until I have approved your work."  
  
Everyone, including Lavender and Parvati, groaned.  
  
~*~*~  
  
After a long, grueling period of Transfiguration, Harry and Ron finally trudged down to the Great Hall for lunch. Hermione came skipping a long, wearing a lei and a long grass skirt and drinking out of a glass of punch with a little umbrella in it.  
  
"Arithmancy was great! Professor Vector decided to have Surprise Luau Day!"  
  
"Shut up, Hermione," Harry and Ron chorused. The two of them ran into the Great Hall and began scarfing food from plates set out on the tables.  
  
"Stupid Gryffindors!" Malfoy shouted, banging his fist in front of Harry. "Eat at your own bloody table!" Harry and Ron ran to the Gryffindor table. They ate some more food. Hermione was already there, but she wasn't eating as they had had a lot of those roast pigs with apples in their mouths at the luau. Finally they finished, and Ron noticed Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford wasn't at the table.  
  
"My love! My dearest Destinee Violette whatsit! I was hoping she might sit next to me and allow me to gaze reverently upon her hair of burnished onyx!" He collapsed into sobs, and suddenly Harry gasped and sat up.  
  
"I almost forgot! My favoritest godfather wants me to have lunch with him!" he sat up, and Hermione followed, leaving sobbing Ron to sob all over the table. Harry was skipping and whistling brightly as he walked. "Oh, 'Mione. . ."  
  
"'Mione?" muttered Hermione.  
  
"Oh, 'Mione," continued Harry, "It's so nice to have my godfather back! He's such a great, loving, concerned godfather! It's. . .it's almost like having the father that I always dreamed at night while I was locked in the cubboard at the Dursley's," he sniffed, and a tear ran down his cheek. "Do you know, I'm his favorite person in the entire world!"  
  
Hermione and Harry came upon Sirius's office adjoining the Transfiguration classroom. There were voices coming from inside, so Hermione slowly opened a crack in the door. Inside, they could see Sirius and Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford making out on Harry's Transfiguration desk.  
  
"Oh, Destinee Violette whatsit," muttered Sirius. "You're my favorite person in the entire world! With your hair of starless curls, and your eyes of dancing meadows, the most beautiful eyes in the entire universe. . .you're so much better than my stupid, boring godson! Everyone says I'm perverted for dating my god daughter, but I don't care!"  
  
Harry's jaw dropped, and he ran from the room, sobbing. Hermione followed after him.  
  
Sirius and Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford continued going at it, oblivious to the plight of Harry. Sirius continued muttering to Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford, difficult to do as his lips were currently plastered to her face. But then Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford suddenly pulled away from Sirius's grasp.  
  
"Destinee-whatsit, what's wrong?" asked Sirius.  
  
"I can't do this anymore, Siri-chan!" she sniffled.  
  
"Siri-chan?" muttered Sirius, but then continued with the more important issue at hand. "Wait, why can't you go through with this? Don't you know you're my One True Love?" he pleaded.  
  
"I'm sorry, Sirius," she said, gazing sadly at the man dressed like a drunken member of the Backstreet Boys. "I don't love you." Dramatic soap opera music began playing. "There's. . .someone else. Goodbye, Sirius." Sirius began sobbing and clutched the hem of her shimmering spring lavender robes.  
  
"Noooooooooooooo!!!!! Don't leave me, Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford!"  
  
Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford pulled his hands off and walked out of the room. Sirius ran after her. "Who is he?" he snarled.  
  
Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford sighed dramatically. "That adorable Remus Lupin." She skipped off merrily to the Defense Against the Dark Arts Office.  
  
"R-remus?" said Sirius to himself softly. His best friend, Remus? The last of the Marauders? How could he? Sirius had never felt betrayal like this. Oh, sure, there had been that Wormtail thing, but Peter had only sold his best friends and godson to Voldemort and sent him to hell-on-earth for twelve years. He had never stolen Sirius's One True Love!  
  
Sirius knew what he had to do. He pulled a long dagger out of his pocket, even though he had a perfectly good wand, and nodded grimly. He would have to kill Remus Lupin.  
  
***  
  
Harry lay on his bed, head cradled in his arms, body racked with sobs. He was more miserable then he had ever been. Nothing the Dursleys had done had compared to this. Even Voldemort had never hurt him so badly. This shook his faith in everything that he had thought true.  
  
"Harry?" said Hermione softly, coming into the boy's dorm.  
  
"Go away!" he shouted at her, and then burst into more sobs. Hermione didn't understand. She couldn't understand. Hermione was smart and pretty and had a loving family. She had so much going for her. She'd never understand Harry's dilemma.  
  
"H-Harry. . ." she said, "I'm really sorry. Those things Sirius said, about you being dumb and boring and kinda smelly, I'm sure he didn't mean it. . ."  
  
Harry sat up and wiped his glasses which were soaked with tears. "I-it's not that. . ." he said miserably, controlling his sobs for the time being.  
  
"What is it, then?" Hermione asked kindly.  
  
"It's just. . ." said Harry slowly, "all my life I thought. . .that my bright green eyes were the most beautiful in the world. But now I see it- how can I possible compare to Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford's brilliant orbs of passionate jade?" He collapsed into sobs once again.  
  
"Erm. . .sorry, Harry," Hermione said tentatively, patting him on the back dubiously. Harry continued to clutch the bed as his body was wracked with sobs.  
  
"'Mione?" He said eventually. "Sometimes. . .sometimes I wish Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford had never come to Hogwarts! Why couldn't she have stayed at Saffire-Sparkle with her stupid house-elves? I WISH I WAS DEAD!" he shouted suddenly. Hermione gasped and grasped his arm tightly.  
  
"No, Harry! I mean, I know you're upset about your. . .eyes and all. . .but sitting around here moping isn't going to help! Maybe you should do something productive?"  
  
Harry stood up and broke out into a wide grin. "You're right Hermione! And I know exactly what I have to do to feel better!" he laughed and Hermione laughed, too.  
  
"Quidditch?"  
  
"No," said Harry, as if this was obvious. A mad glint appeared in his eye. "I have to puts them out."  
  
"Puts them out?" asked Hermione nervously. "Put what out?"  
  
"Her eyeses, precious," said Harry with a wide smile and gleaming eyes. Hermione back up against the wall.  
  
"Y-you mean. . .you're going to kill Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford?"  
  
Harry nodded slowly. Hermione jumped up quickly.  
  
"Kick-ass! Count me in!"  
  
Author's Note~ Hey, everyone! Thanks for your great reviews! Motivated me to actually write more.  
  
Some of you have expressed concern as to whether Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smythford will die. No, of course not! She's so cool! She's going to marry Remus and-  
  
Don't worry. She will die an appropriately gory and painful death.  
  
NO MORE STORY UNLESS I GET 459,267,412.555 REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	3. Death of Destinee

Harry and Hermione crept slowly along a dark corridor. It wasn't normally that dark, but for some reason, today it would have been pitch black if not for the orange glow of randomly placed lanterns that had also never been there before. The corridor had grown immencly long, and the two had been searching through for about an hour. Every few minutes, they would point their wands and find that they had been going in an entirely wrong direction.  
  
"Uh, 'Mione? Have you noticed anything weird lately?" Harry muttered. Hermione glanced over at him with eyes that were far more warmly cinnamon than they had been the day before.  
  
"Like, that you are all calling me 'Mione? It's getting totally annoying." Hermione's voice was very high-pitched, and lilted up at the end. She had a vague British accent, but aside from that it would've been impossible to tell that she didn't spend most of her day in Southern Californian malls. Harry frowned, but then forgot why he thought this was strange.  
  
"Oh, like, uh, no reason," said Harry. Then he coughed and cleared his throat, as his voice had been uncharacteristically deep. He glanced back at 'Mione, and noticed she had seemingly grown shorter. Or. . .perhaps he had grown taller? That seemed to be it. He suddenly also had a lot more chin and a lot more muscles.  
  
"What's going on?" he asked in that deep voice. But he wasn't sure what was so strange. As soon as he thought about it, his mind went all blurry, and all he could think about was Quidditch. Hermione suddenly felt the urge to dash off and gossip about Harry's sudden change with Parvati and Lavender. Except she wasn't sure what had changed.  
  
But before she could, the object of their search appeared before their very sparkly and pretty eyes. It was a basket of fruit. Or rather, a painting of a basket of fruit. 'Mione tickled the pear on the painting seductively. The pear giggled. She giggled. Harry did not giggle, but he laughed a very masculine laugh. They stepped into the kitchens.  
  
The kitchens were different, too. There were house elves, but they didn't look somehow like Harry would've expected them to. Somehow, he pictured house elves as very small, with eyes like tennis balls and leathery skin, wearing a dirty pillowcase or a tea towel. But he couldn't imagine why, because these were the right house elves. They were also very small, with very pink, shiny skin, large sparkly blue eyes, cute button noses, pink cheeks, and a smile like a cherub. They had long ears, but they were not bat-like, just cute. Each elf had little blonde curls on their head and wore green leggings, little green hats, and lots of bells. They were also skipping and singing a song made up almost entirely of "la la la"  
  
"Harry Potter, sir!" squealed the little skipping elf wearing the most bells and mis-matched socks. Harry stared at him curiously, then laughed.  
  
"Oh, hi, Dobby! We came to ask you a favor. It was. . .um. . .uh. . ."  
  
'Mione frowned, and brushed back her shiny, straight chestnut hair. "We need you to poison Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford's food."  
  
Dobby gasped, and his little bells shook merrily. "I can't do that, 'Mione! Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford is my sister-in-law."  
  
Harry and 'Mione blinked, confused, but then remembered that Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford had been raised by house elves. Harry sighed, and then adorned a quite pathetic sad-puppy face. "Pleeeeeease, Dobby? For me? I helped free you from the Malfoys, and I gave you socks, and. . ."  
  
Dobby sighed. "Sorry, Harry Potter, sir. I can't kill my brother Globby's wife's little sister! How will I be able to talk to them next Thanksgiving?"  
  
Harry shrugged. "Oh, well. Plan B. C'mon, 'Mione." Harry trundled out of the room slowly. 'Mione stood, staring at Dobby, looking confused by not sure what about. Finally, she opened her mouth.  
  
"But. . .we're in England. . .Thanksgiving. . ."  
  
"C'mon, 'Mione!" Harry snapped. 'Mione suddenly turned around, giggled, and dashed after Harry, who she was beginning to find incredibly attractive for some reason.  
  
***  
  
The ceiling of the Great Hall was warm and sunny. There were pale pink streaks running across the clouds, to signify the setting of the sun, but otherwise it looked like a lovely May afternoon. Brightly colored birds twittered past, and several students were wearing sunglasses.  
  
Slowly, the faculty and students began to file in as the many golden plates began filling themselves with vast varieties of food- turkeys, steaks, and seafood dishes, salads, fruits, and vegetables of all kinds, an assortment of pies, pudding, and, as always, peppermint humbugs.  
  
Harry and 'Mione sat at Gryffindor table, looking displeased. It was almost as if the damn little elves had put extra work into making the dinner nice for Dobby's sister-in-law. They were among the first seated- only Neville, some first years, and two surly seventh years were already seated. Most of the faculty were already there, but Snape had been avoiding the dinners since his demotion, and Sirius was once again missing.  
  
Slowly, the tables began to fill. Gryffindor table, within a matter of five minutes, was suddenly alive with the chattering voices of students. Finally, it seemed that everyone had come. Dumbledore picked up his silverware and began carving a turkey, a sign that it was now time to eat.  
  
But Sirius still hadn't arrived, and neither had Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford. Harry scowled- he was probably still busy serenading her stupid eyes. Once he killed her, he was going to stab them out like an angry phoenix.  
  
However, Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford didn't enter the Great Hall with Harry's godfather. She flung open the doors, standing alone. She looked very dramatic, with the wind fluttering through her dark chocolate mane. But the effect was ruined when she began marching in, and Ron trailed behind her with a stupid expression and drew running down his chin. Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford didn't seem to notice- she walked up to the faculty table.  
  
"Oh, Remy, darling," she said in a voice like soft-serve low fat frozen yoghurt. "Do you have a kiss for your Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smythiepoo?" She batted her eyelashes seductively, and Ron's drool output increased threefold.  
  
Professor Lupin was currently cutting up a large portion of steak. When she first spoke, his look seemed rather like Ron's, but for a split second there was a look of deep alarm. Harry thought it was strange- he almost looked as though he was under the Imperius Curse and was fighting to resist. But he dismissed the thought when it occurred to him that this must mean Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford had broken up wth Sirius. One might've thought this would please Harry, but instead he was fuming. He may not have liked Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford and Sirius's relationship, but no one broke up with his godfather! Harry slowly reached for something in his robe pocket.  
  
But he was interrupted from his goal when there was a shouted from the balcony. "Stand and fight, ye scurvy coward!" Harry glanced up to see Sirius. He was still dressed in his leather pants and dog collar, but he was also wearing a very girly blouse which had partially ripped, exposing his chest. He was holding a rope in one hand and a sword in the other, and he was clutching a rose in his teeth. Sirius seemed to be giving Professor Lupin a look which was an awful lot like the one Snape tended to give Harry.  
  
"Erm, Sirius. . ." said Professor Lupin slowly. "Maybe you should get down. . ."  
  
"Nay, foul rogue! Thou art going to die!" Sirius bellowed. Then, he swung on the rope at Professor Lupin, holding the sword straight out. Professor Lupin stood still, too shocked to move. With one swift motion, Sirius plunged the sword into Lupin's heart!  
  
"Oh, no!" squealed 'Mione. She shielded her eyes from the gruesome sight. Harry watched in a manly way, but on impact coughed so that he could look down into the potatoes. Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford screamed, as well as several other people in the room. Harry shuddered, but slowly he looked up. . .  
  
Sirius seemed to be having some difficulty. He was furiously stabbing Lupin, but the sword wouldn't go in. Instead, it bent in odd directions across the werewolf's chest. "Why! Won't! You! Die?!!!" screamed Sirius angrily.  
  
"Well," said Lupin, in the voice usually saved for talking to the deranged, "You seemed to be using a fencing sword. They're only for training, see, they're made so they can't be used lethally. . ."  
  
"Oh, screw it!" Sirius shouted, flinging the sword across the room. He tore off the ripped blouse, and began beating his chest. "You're going down, bitch!" He punched Lupin squarely on the jaw. Lupin looked around wildly, and began to edge away, reaching cautiously for his wand.  
  
"Sirius," he said slowly. "You really need to relax. Think nice, happy thoughts, like the seashore, and little bunny rabbits, and unicorns and the like. Then, we can go to Madam Pomfrey, and she can fix you riiiight up. Okay?"  
  
"No. I'm not gonna," said Sirius. He stuck out his tongue, and then began swinging wild punches. Remus managed to dodge most of them, due to the fact that wizards have very little training in fist fighting. "Die, you werewolf ho!" sobbed Sirius desperately.  
  
"Sirius. . ." said Remus, backing out the door. "I don't want to hurt you, but I want you to calm down. Can you do that for me?"  
  
Sirius ran after him, his eyes strangely unfocused. He was heaving like a rabid animal. "No. You stole my one true love! Now, you must pay!" In place of a man, there was suddenly a large, black dog. He was growling angrily. Remus began backing up faster, now looking a bit frightened himself. He could remain calm in most situations, but big, angry canines unsettled him.  
  
Then, Sirius pounced and Remus turned and ran! The doors slammed shut behind them. Everyone in the Great Hall was staring at the doors. Then, Dumbledore picked up his fork. "Well, now that that's over. . ." Everyone began eating again. Suddenly, Harry stood up, and looked Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford straight in the eye. He pulled a jagged dagger out of his robe and charged.  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!!" he shouted as he ran across the room, dagger outstretched, straight at her. But Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford put out her arm and pushed it against his head. Harry bent down, running but not moving, his arms flailing wildly.  
  
"Harry," said Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford, her eyes wide with sadness. "What are you trying to do?"  
  
Harry drew his dagger menacingly, pulling out of the running stance. "I want you dead!!"  
  
Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford blinked, and Harry cowered. He knew how powerful she was. . .she could smite him down with a single blow. . .  
  
But instead of using magic, Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford clasped her arms together in a pose like heroines in bad romance novels. She sighed, looking painfully dramatic, and said softly, "If only my true love were here to save me!" Harry stared at her. She frowned, glanced angrily at the double doors where Sirius had bounded after Remus, and shouted "If Only My True Love Was Here To Save Me! Wherever could he be?!" she screamed furiously.  
  
A muffled cry came from beyond the double doors. "Erm. . .just a minute, dearest. . ." There was a barking growling sound, and the sound of footsteps dashing away swiftly.  
  
"But Remy!!!!" shouted Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford. She turned to chase after him, and Harry suddenly struck upwards with the dagger into her stomach. One would've expected a bellow and a lot of mess, but instead, Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford's mouth formed and pretty O, and she swooned with a faint cry onto the ground while blood billowed in soft curling patterns along her robe front. But, Harry realized with delight, she was most definitely dead.  
  
"Hermione!" he shouted at his friend as her hair transformed from sleek and shiny back to bushy. "It's over! She's gone!"  
  
Hermione looked down at Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford's body. It was bathed in light that looked like gold, white, silver, or some form of lavender. She could've sworn she'd seen the girl's lips move. "No. . .I think it's just beginning. . ."  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
Author's Note~ Hey, you all! Sorry about the long break in updates. First, I was writing something for a school fiction contest, and then I had to do an English project.  
  
Wow, thank you so much for all your reviews! Thank you, thank you, Thank you! *hugs everyone*  
  
I wish I could thank you personally, but I have about 5 minutes before I have to go.  
  
But I can say to all you loyal Remus fans- he's mine, back off, and yes, it was painful to set him up with that horrible little Mary Sue but it isn't his fault. More on that next chapter.  
  
Happy holidays, all! 


	4. The Origins of Mary Sue

Chapter 4 ~*~*~ The Origins of Mary-Sue  
  
In the hallway outside the Great Hall, a man sat, cornered against the wall, holding his knees. His wand had been thrown across the room, so magic was out. He didn't want to attempt force against the monstrous black dog that was approaching with overly-dramatic slowness.  
  
Suddenly, Remus heard Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford's cry, and his keen ears could hear the thump she made as she fell to the ground. When he turned back to his foe, it was no longer a dog, but Sirius looking down at himself in puzzlement.  
  
"Er, Remus. . ." said Sirius in an accent that was definitely British rather than the strange American accent he had recently adopted, "What's going on? I vaguely remember being rescued by a strange girl, and then trying to kill you, but I don't really remember anything else these past few weeks. And what the hell am I wearing?" he said suddenly, noticing his bare chest, dog collar, and tight leather pants.  
  
Remus stood up, beckoning to Sirius to do the same. Urgency flashed in his tired grey eyes. "Come. We don't have much time."  
  
The Defense Professor turned, running down the hallway. Sirius jumped to his feet and followed. "No, seriously. What's going on?" He said, catching up with his friend. Remus eyed him carefully.  
  
"You of course remember our seventh year N.E.W.T. Defense Against the Dark Arts class, yes?" The man said finally. Sirius grinned sheepishly.  
  
"You know James and I only took it for the credits to become aurors. It's not as though we were paying attention. . ."  
  
Remus rolled his eyes, and said sarcastically "Of course, how could I have thought you'd actually pay attention? No matter that both of you very nearly topped me in the exams, and I'd been studying since the Christmas holidays." Sirius laughed and gave him an apologetic smile. Remus shrugged. "But I do wish you'd paid attention. You at least remember when Professor Shacklebolt told us about the Mary-Sue, don't you?"  
  
"Um. . .no," said Sirius slowly. "Sorry. Wasn't that that water demon that lives in Japan?"  
  
"No," sighed Remus, "That's a kappa." He shook his head, then appeared to be trying to remember something. "Ah, well, I am the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Let's see. . .The Ma'ri Su was a dark creature forged by the dark wizards of Ancient Egypt, in revenge against a great Roman wizard who had banished them from the Nile Valley into the Sahara. Ma'ri Su was part demon, but strangely enough, a cousin of the dementor- she has the ability to feast on the human soul. But while her Dementor cousin feasts on the happiness within the soul, Ma'ri Su would feast upon reality. She has Dark Magic that Voldemort could only dream of, and specializes in controlling human minds. She became the lover of the Roman wizard, and this led eventually to his murder. Then, she moved on to her next victim, another enemy of the Egyptian wizards, and drove him to suicide. Finally, she vanished- but was recreated by French wizards in the 15th century to fight the English. She was, fortunately, stopped before she did too much damage, but English wizards were now aware of the creature they called 'Mary-Sue.' And now, we have one at Hogwarts. Do you understand?"  
  
Sirius blinked. "Wait. . . Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford is a dementor?"  
  
Remus opened his mouth as though he were going to argue, but finally he sighed and said "You know what? Sure. She's a dementor."  
  
"I bloody hate dementors," growled Sirius. Remus sighed and gave him a small smile, and then stopped running. They stood at the door of his office adjoining the Defense classroom. Remus opened the door, and pulled Sirius inside.  
  
"Sirius," he said slowly, "do you remember our first year, when I tried to get into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, and became. . .ill?"  
  
Sirius started laughing, then, looking at Remus, turned the laugh into a cough. "Erm. . .I think so. Was that the time you were sick all over Snivy's bookbag?"  
  
"Yes," sighed Remus, "that time. But it wasn't my fault, see- Professor Domremi had wards up, to keep out dark creatures. Dumbledore made him close the ward, but, as I discovered when I began teaching, they hadn't been destroyed, just dormant. If you help me put the wards back up, we should be safe from Mary-Sue."  
  
The two wizards pulled out their wands and, concentrating together, muttered the charm necessary for wards. This was not a charm that even Sirius could forget- in the days of Voldemort's rise to power, strong wards were essential to survival. Sirius was quite good at wards- although Remus was far more knowledgeable about magic, Sirius possessed far more natural power than the werewolf. With their combined power, a soft silvery light shimmered along the door frame, glowing brightly for a moment and then vanishing. The wards were in place.  
  
Sirius put his wand back into his pants pocket, and then cast a concerned look at his friend. "But won't the wards affect you, too?" He remembered the episode in his first year. Although he and James had found Remus's aim hilarious at the time, they'd spent the next week worrying about their friend. They hadn't known at the time what was wrong with him, but the fact was that wards were dangerous things. A good Dark Creature ward could easily kill a young werewolf if he tried to force his way through, and quite badly hurt a full grown one.  
  
Remus gave a sickly frown at the thought. "If I try to go back through, yes. But as long as I remain in here, it doesn't matter if I can't get out, because Mary-Sue can't get in. A temporary solution, I'll admit, but I'm going to send you to get me some supplies from the Potions Cabinet to prepare a better one."  
  
Remus opened a random cabinet above his desk, which seemed to be larger on the inside than on the out. The cabinet contained a large tank with disturbing cracks that resembled claw marks, some worn dragon hide gloves, a suitcase that appeared to be rattling, and a pile of some very old, much loved books. Remus picked a slim book with a black cover that was hardly staying on out of the middle. He leafed through the ancient, yellowing pages, until he found he middle. There seemed to be a kind of list written in curly, silvery writing. Remus held it out towards the animagus.  
  
"Right. These are the ingredients I'll be needing." He said, handing Sirius the small book. Sirius nodded, placed the top of the page between his thumb and index finger, and tore the list out into his hand. Remus winced in sympathy with his book. "Alright then, Sirius," he said slowly, looking annoyedly at his destroyed property. "Go get the ingredients, but look out for Destinee. She'll likely be about soon, and you don't want to fall under her spell again."  
  
Remus sat down in his comfortable office chair, and Sirius opened the door and stepped into the hall. There was a faint shimmer about his body as he passed through the door, almost as though there was a stream of water that he was walking through, but it was hardly visible except to those that knew it was there.  
  
"Good luck, Sirius," said Remus, picking up the little book to read. "Don't forget anything, and avoid Destinee at all costs."  
  
Sirius nodded. "Right. Potions ingredients, don't meet Destinee. See you in a minute, Moony," said Sirius dramatically.  
  
"Oh, and Sirius?" Remus asked slowly.  
  
The dark haired man pulled himself to his full height, paying close attention. He may have had a reputation for not living up to his name, but Sirius knew when to be serious. Now, there was a task at hand, and Remus needed him to do it. "What is it?"  
  
"For God's sake, man, put on some clothes!"  
  
***  
  
Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford sat up slowly. With a tragic moan, she slowly brought herself to a sitting position. Running her perfect pink hands through locks of boundless obsidian, she opened her exotic topaz eyes and glanced around. She sat on the floor of the Great Hall. Her robes were bloodstained in a very G-rated way, and yet those surrounding her looked on in horror.  
  
"WHY?" screamed Harry, fully utilizing his gift to speak long sentences in all caps. "HOW CAN YOU BE ALIVE? MY PLAN WAS FOOLPROOF!"  
  
"Oh, no," whispered Hermione. "Here we go again." Harry didn't seem to hear. He kept right on yelling.  
  
"IT ISN'T FAIR! MY MUM AND DAD DIED AND I HAD TO LIVE WITH THE DURSLEYS AND STAY WITH THEM ALL SUMMER AND EVERYONE STILL TREATS ME LIKE A LITTLE BOY! I WAS THERE WHEN CEDRIC DIED AND SIRIUS EVEN THOUGH THAT WAS REALLY MY FAULT AND HE'S ALIVE NOW, BUT CHO STILL BROKE UP WITH ME BECAUSE MY EYES JUST WEREN'T PRETTY ENOUGH! THAT'S THE REAL REASON EVERYONE HATES ME!" He collapsed on the floor in sobs. Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford raised an eyebrow, but Hermione shrugged and pat Harry on the back.  
  
Suddenly, Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford leaned over and lifted Harry's chin. "Don't be sad, Harry," she said in a voice like a siren's song. "I don't hate you. You're my long lost adored twin brother."  
  
Harry's not quite as exotic-ly topaz eyes grew very round. "My. . .dear sister Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford. Why would I ever be jealous of you?"  
  
Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford pat Harry on his very messy and unboundless plain black hair. "That's a good brother. Doesn't everyone feel better?"  
  
The entire Great Hall, as one being, nodded. Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford smiled benevolently, and then cocked her head, as if hearing something annoying far far away. "Oh, dear," she said sweetly. "It seems that some people are still mad at me. We can't have that."  
  
The entire Great Hall nodded in agreement. Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford smiled again, and Ron fell over in a dead faint. "Go," said Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford. "Bring me Sirius and especially my Remy-poo!"  
  
Everyone stood up and filed out of the Great Hall. Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford pranced like a dove gracefully after.  
  
Author's Note~  
  
This chapter isn't great, but I like next chapter. Sorry about the long wait, I'd been thinking that this chapter was up for some reason. Please r&r. Well, I guess if you're here, you've already r'd. Now you just need to r. Confused? Good. r&r  
  
Next chapter sooner.  
  
Check out my friend's great fics, please. Her name is tavari. She's on my list of favorite authors. She's quite good, and will appreciate your reviews. She's especially good if you're into Marauder fiction, as I most definitely am. ^_^  
  
Take care, now. 


	5. Gathering the Team

Chapter 5~ Gathering the Team  
  
Remus sat in his office, flipping through one of his books but not really reading it. He glanced at the wall clock. Where the hell was Sirius? Remus knew sending his friend to Snape's private domain was always risky, but there had been no one else to send. If he had stopped to pull a prank or steal something of his enemy. . .Remus shook his head. He was fairly sure Sirius realized how important this was. Fairly sure, but then again, this was Sirius.  
  
Footsteps outside his hall brought him back to attention. "Sirius?" he asked in trepidation.  
  
"Remy darling?" said a voice like melted sugar. Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford stood outside his door in all of her newly incarnate glory. "I've been looking everywhere for you."  
  
Remus prided himself on keeping cool in a crisis. He took several deep breaths and thought about this. Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford couldn't get into his office, but she had surely had minions who could. They might try to get him out through the wards, which could easily kill him. But he didn't think Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford would put his life in danger. That wasn't how the Mari-Su worked. On the other hand, he couldn't risk her still being there when Sirius returned with the Potions ingredients. She might corrupt him again, and Remus would be powerless to stop her. Instantly he knew what he had to do.  
  
"Oh, Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford, my dearest love!" shouted Remus, striking a dramatic pose. "Please forgive me, I've been a fool! You're the one for me!"  
  
"Oh, my dear Remi-chan!" sniffed Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford, clasping her hands to her breast. "I couldn't hold anything against you. You are the only one for me, as well."  
  
"I can't be without you any longer! Come to me, my love!" shouted Remus, beckoning towards her. Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford sprung through the door. . .and hit the ward. Instantly she collapsed on the ground. She wouldn't, of course, do anything so undignified as to be sick, but she did turn very pale and weak.  
  
"My love, I am faint! But I will still. . .come to you!" She attempted to stand, hitting the ward once more, and collapsing again dramatically.  
  
"Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford, darling! There appears to be some ill spell that keeps us apart! I feel it too, but not as strongly as you do. If only I could get to you, and help!" said Remus, feigning tears.  
  
"No spell can stop our love!" shouted Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford, ready to try to charge the ward once more.  
  
"No, darling!" said Remus in horror. "You must go to the hospital wing! I couldn't bear to lose you! I'll remain here and try to stop the spell."  
  
"Oh, but dearest Remi-chan!" exclaimed Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford. "What will you do without me by your side?"  
  
"Somehow. . ." said Remus, sounding as though he were in pain. "Somehow, I'll go on. Go! Don't delay!"  
  
"I'll be back, Remy!" cried Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford, flitting off like a jeweled hummingbird.  
  
Remus smiled, then sunk down in his chair, clutching his head. That had been physically painful. Fortunately, a few minutes later Sirius burst through the ward, of course completely untouched. Remus walked over to him.  
  
"These good enough for you?" grumbled Sirius, gesturing to his dark robes. "You know, I can't help what that dementor dressed me like. And a lot of people think I look good in leather." He glared at Remus.  
  
"Yes, yes," said Remus distractedly. "Did you get the ingredients?"  
  
Sirius grinned and held out a bag full of just about the entire contents of the Potions cabinet, as well as a little bottle that Sirius instantly pocketed. "I'm keeping this one. It's Snape's." He snickered and read the label. "Brassy Warlock Cologne. Imagine the look on his face when he finds out I have this!"  
  
"Ah," said Remus pointedly. "So, you knew the fate of the entire wizarding world and my life was in your hands, and you decided to stop and rummage through Snape's things."  
  
"It was sitting right there!" said Sirius defensively. He crossed his arms, sat down in the chair, and gave Remus a pouting look. Remus shook his head and didn't say anything. He set his old cauldron to boil and began to prepare the potion.  
  
"How long is this going to take?" asked Sirius nervously. He knew that Potions could take months, and he wasn't looking forward to being holed up in here for that long. Although he'd never admit it to Remus, he'd also stopped in the kitchens for a snack. He'd discovered that even the house elves were against them. Fortunately, there wasn't much house elves could do if you told them to obey you, whether or not they were on your side. But once Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford gave her approval, house elves would cut through any wards they could put up like Swiss cheese.  
  
"Only about a half hour, fortunately," said Remus more amiably, understanding Sirius's train of thought and glad that Sirius had finally decided to be, well, serious. "Why don't you prepare the roots?" So the two marauders brewed the potion stealthily in the Defense Against the Dark Arts Office. Due to a convenient plot device, they were completely uninterrupted until the potion was done a half hour later.  
  
"It's finished," whispered Remus with a small smile, leaning over the potion. It was now a dark black and was steaming and bubbling slightly. He poured the potion into several extra teacups he kept in his cupboards just in case any depressed sons of former friends just happened to drop by for a chat and some anti-dementor lessons.  
  
"Drink it," he whispered to Sirius. Sirius took the cup and raised it to his lips, drinking it down in one gulp. Remus gave him a questioning look.  
  
"Hmm," said Sirius, licking the remainder of the potion off his lips. "It's very bitter, but not so bad. It tastes a lot like coffee, actually."  
  
"Good, it's supposed to," said Remus, drinking his potion as well. "In fact, very strong coffee works as a rudimentary antidote to Mari-Sus. Why do you think you find so many American Mari-Sus in different countries? They're getting away from all of those Starbucks."  
  
Sirius shrugged. "Makes sense, I guess." He glanced up and looked out of the office. "Oh, hello, Harry," he said casually. Harry merely grinned evilly in response.  
  
"Lock the door!" commanded Remus. "We can't let him in."  
  
"Excuse me!" said Sirius indignantly. "That is my godson. I don't know what Harry's ever done to you. . ."  
  
"He's possessed by Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford" said Remus Lupin flatly.  
  
Sirius gasped. "The dementor! We have to get Harry unpossessed!" The wizard threw open the door, and grabbed Harry. He pulled the boy into the office, and closed the door, pinning him to the wall.  
  
"That was surprisingly easy," thought Remus aloud. He put the mug of coffee to Harry's lips. The boy frowned, and then in curiosity drank. Suddenly, his eyes became clearer.  
  
"What's going on?" he asked. "Did Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford die?"  
  
Remus and Sirius explained everything. The exact dialogue will not be stated here, because I am lazy. But since no one had bothered to remove the wards and Sirius's wand was still in Snape's office, Remus stayed behind while Harry and Sirius went to rescue as many people as they could. Finally, when the potion was gone, they returned, bringing all of the saved witches and wizards with them. This was to be the team that the fate of the wizarding world would depend on.  
  
"Alright," said Remus, surveying the group before him. Among the saved were Harry's friends Hermione and Ron, as well as Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, and Draco Malfoy. Remus frowned. "Erm. . .no offense, but we don't have supplies to make any more potions."  
  
Harry nodded. "I know," he said with a heroic smile.  
  
"Well, yes, but the ones we choose these. . .particular witches and wizards? I mean, I was hoping we could get Dumbledore, or at least Minerva."  
  
"Well," said Harry speculatively, "we saw Professor Dumbledore, but we only had enough potion left for one person, so we gave it to Malfoy here."  
  
"Hmmm," said Remus, unable to say anything else. Finally, he asked in a tired voice, "Why Malfoy?"  
  
"His hair!" said Harry wide-eyed. "It's so cool! It's all slicked back and shiny! So we got Malfoy. We weren't sure who else you wanted, since Sirius was down in Snape's dungeons."  
  
Remus gave Sirius one of his rare, very frightening glares. Sirius smiled sheepishly, making sure that all of the stolen items were still well concealed on his person.  
  
"Fine, then," responded Remus to Harry, giving up. "Now, we will find a way to destroy Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford and return everything back to normal."  
  
"Everything?" asked Sirius, a frown on his face.  
  
"Yes, Sirius," said Remus with a glare. "You'll have to return your incriminating cologne or whatever it was."  
  
"Yeah, sure," responded Sirius. He now had his wand with him, so he took down the wards, not looking at Remus. The wizards gathered themselves and prepared to fight.  
  
Author's Note~ Okay, you all should just stop believing me when I tell you it won't be long between updates. This chapter was so crappy as I just slapped it together out of guilt. So thanks, everyone who didn't give up. You guys are way cool.  
  
Aindel S. Druida- Yes, I think JKR actually said Sirius was extremely smart. But the way I see it, he's one of those annoying people who never study or anything and don't seem very bright, and yet can somehow do everything perfectly well. Those people get on my nerves, as I am more the Hermione type.  
  
Briana Marie- Well, I am one of those people seriously in denial about Sirius's death. But if he wasn't dead, he'd come back in a way that made sense and involved a part of the plot and a good reason, not just some crazy Mary Sue just happening to save him in a way that was never explained. "Everything turns out okay!" fics are just plain annoying.  
  
I guess that's all I have to say. Thanks, each and every reviewer- the kerbster, Trinity Day, Briana Marie, Briana Rose, NS, jenn, Choco Taco, tavari (loser! Jk), and Aindel S. Druida. Sorry if I missed anyone. 


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